What "SHE" feels- The other side...

The sweeter you are too me, the more I yearn for it..the more normal things get, the more complicated it feels..the more you talk to me, the more I think about you..why in the world am I in such a situation? I don't want to admit the truth. The truth that I want you to hate me, I want myself to hate you-the person whom I liked so much once..& deep inside I think i still do!!


Its just it was so difficult to get to a place where I can ignore you but I keep on losing that position....I have been dawdling in this phase of my life..controlling my emotions, my heart..& I just don't know what I want..I seriously don't...!


I am uncertain..I feel all that I should not..why is it difficult to be myself with you? Why can't you be just another guy for me when I am just another girl..? Just a friend..not much into your life..! Its hard for me to concentrate on other things....I am not able to think properly, one moment I am happy & suddenly I am again lost...!! I don't wanna be a baby..I don't want to be vulnerable..I can help myself..but its just your support that makes life so damn easy....without any hurdles..!


I often tell myself to look for a life without you...I believe I can do much better without you..aim higher..achieve more..but that is just for a brief time and then my heart makes me come back again & again.............................